So, recently I just purchased a new external hard drive for my computer because for months I have been deleting old movies and documents to make room for new ones and frankly it was just getting damn annoying. Also, in one of my classes I was advised to get one if I continue to pursue digital filmmaking, which of course I definitely will. I'm excited because now I will be able to never delete anything (until the bastard fills up), and I'll be able to have off-hand a much larger body of work.
Which brings me to a topic that I'll probably write too much about but thats what my fucking blog is for so get off my back! Lol. It all starts a few years back when my production group Try Harder produced a feature film called "Clawman II". This was a crude film, with a pretty interesting storyline and some awesome characters. The movie was great, we all loved it, our friends loved it, and while it took a lot of time and dedication it was worth it. I myself learned the sense of accomplishment a finished feature film can give a filmmaker. All those hours of time spent writing, planning, filming, editing all come to one point when the audience will sit and watch the whole thing. And that premiere night is a night that I'll probably remember for the rest of my life. I remember having all of my friends there, my group, our shoddy construction of a projector screen and the anxiety I had as the time grew closer. I remember when it was over and people were applauding and looking over at my friend/co- director Shawn and shaking each others hand and saying "wow, man we did it." And it was great. It was the first time I truly felt like a filmmaker, and like i said, that memory will stay with me forever.
We took a few months off, finished our last semester of our SNEWZ productions and that was it, we had all graduated. It wasn't long before I began itching to try another feature film with the guys, however a few of them were slightly resistant, which I now understand was justified. We had done what most kid our age hadn't done, but I think we all realized that the next one would surpass the first one by miles. It would have to be longer, funnier, have more characters, more locations, better editing, better camerawork, and more ambition.
We spent that summer producing more shorts and in that time we created a series called Cranberry about a secret agent, and the cases he had to solve. Yes, quite cliche, but I would be lying if I said I wasn't secretly in love with these kinds of stories. Secret agents, spies, detectives; they were all something I had a desire to write about. So summer ended and I began work on a feature length script called Cranberry: The Movie. I wrote for 3 months, all the while trying to convince and justify to my group members that we were ready to do it, and that it was going to be great. Thankfully, Shawn the other creative half of the group was on-board, or at least he gave a level of commitment that I desperately needed from somebody. We planned it al out, we cast all the main characters, got costumes, had production meetings, invested in better equipment, constructed equipment, the whole deal. It was fun, it felt like we were doing something professional.
Shooting started that winter and we thankfully hit the ground running. But, as every story of a no-budget feature film goes, production was ridden with difficulties. Scheduling became nearly impossible, getting props and locations was difficult but we managed to make it through that winter break with probably 60% of our movie shot. We shot for probably 16-17 days sporadically. Once school hit, it became even more impossible to schedule things. My main actor, my star, and best friend, however became increasingly difficult to work with. He cancelled last minute, was late, didn't know his lines, and didn't seem that enthused about the whole thing. The cast and crew started to turn against him and everybody became sick of him but damnit the whole time I was there trying to stick up for him. I know production was hard and I have ideas of what everyone thought about the movie and myself, but it was my lesson in directing a movie. It was my film school.
I had to balance everything, try to keep everyone happy, seem like we on our way to the goal, and that when it was done it was be incredible. As time went on things got harder, but in spite of it all, we finally wrapped up the last of production late that summer. Everybody was exhausted we had just spend nearly 8 months shooting a movie with nothing to show for it yet, and I know it was frustrating on everybody who dedicated their time to help me with this project. Something I could probably never thank them enough for.
I had an editor lined up who was going to edit it for us, because I myself was no editor. I had experience but not the control and skill to do a whole movie. Well, after a few days of working on it with him, he backed out. He had our footage for a month or so and then backed out. Fuckin eh, so I searched for another editor and posted an ad on craigslist. Found one, drove out to meet him at Starbucks, explained the project and it all seemed great. He worked on it for a little while then of course, he fucking backed out too. So after this I was left with the footage and it seemed like nobody wanted to edit it for us.
I was exhausted, crushed, and losing my momentum with the project, yet I had all these people wanting it done, so i opted to try and edit it myself. I worked on it for probably 2-3 months. Progress was slow, i was editing on a new program while trying to learn it at the same time. I invested so many hours and nothing good was coming out of it. So at this point I just stopped. I don't wanna say I quit, but I took a step back because honestly I just couldn't look at it anymore. Something I had so much passion for was now becoming something that was becoming too difficult and my optimistic attitude faded. So put it all away, and stopped.
It has now been about one year exactly since I did any work at all on Cranberry. My friends have never seen any of it, my group members probably stop wondering when it would be done. I felt like i let down a lot of people (including myself) and i was left hoping that one day I would be able to edit it myself.
Well, last week I showed my girlfriend our Clawman II for the first time ever. She was mildy amused and said she liked it, which was really sweet of her. But the thing that really startled me watching it again, was how entertaining it was to watch an entire movie as it progressed from scene to scene as the story moved along and it was great. It somehow rejuvenated my energy for Cranberry and with my new hard drive coming in I sat and thought: Fuck it, I think its time. I've been using the editing software for almost a year now, I've gotten pretty damn good at it, I have a lot of free time this semester. I think its time I finish it.
So that's what I'm going to do. I'm not going to really talk about it too much with my friends other than the occasional mention of progress, but I realized that this is now something that only I can help run up to the finish line and I think I'm finally ready to do it. It hurts knowing how weak some of the story will be or how my filmmaking techniques have surpassed what we filmed over a year or so ago but I don't give a fuck. I want it done, and I want everyone to see it. I am proud of what we have done with it so far and I want everyone else to be able to be proud of their work when they can sit back and watch a 90 minute movie they gave their time for.
So that's my long rant on everything, it felt good to get it out, because most people don't know the internal struggle I've had with this project for so long, but that's fine. I'm the writer/director of it and its my responsibility. So thats that. I'm sorry for this long boring post of me just getting shit off my chest. I promise to have a more upbeat, humorous post next week. Thanks everyone.
tk.
